The Secret Life of Abraham Lincoln

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356027-19

356027-19 Little known fact: Before he was a president, Abraham Lincoln was a celebrated lifeguard. Even while he was a president, he policed kids in the pool. And this was even besides his secret career as a vampire hunter. Add that to running a Civil War and all the administrative details of the presidency, and you realize that Abe was very busy man. How does he do it? He's actually an illusion created by rock-like aliens.  SPOILERS! Wrap this cloth around your torso and spread the gospel of Abraham Lincoln's rock-like ancestry. $19.95 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 2XL

The Little Princess

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http://preshrunk.org/?p=3228

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356083-19 We are getting a huge influx of awesome female role models lately, but Leia was the original awesome woman. And now she has even more toys to play with since the new Star Wars movies. Look at that cute little BB-8! I bet it's a Sphero one. This would be a perfect T-shirt to give your little daughter who is obsessed with the General and all she stands for. Hope, rebellion, strength. Or you could wrap this cloth around your torso to remind yourself that everyone needs a good female role model. Put some buns on your daughter's head. Or your own head. Whatever. Be like Leia. $15.95 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 2XL

No Man’s Land

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http://preshrunk.org/?p=3225

e7e84feb-fd6a-4c99-935a-5937970871ea

e7e84feb-fd6a-4c99-935a-5937970871ea As a matter of full disclosure, you should know that I am a man, but that doesn't preclude me from highly appreciating the glory of Wonder Woman. You do not mess with Diana of Themyscira. You might as well be in No Man's Land if you go up against the godkiller herself. For no man can defeat her. I mean, pretty much no woman can, either, really. I haven't seen anyone able to beat her. Wrap this cloth around your torso and feel invincible! $10-13| URL | Paypal Credit | S - 3XL

McFLY!!!

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http://preshrunk.org/?p=3222

art-man-who-catch-fly_daniel-castello-munez_tee_1

art-man-who-catch-fly_daniel-castello-munez_tee_1 Man who catches McFly is man who travels time. On the other time, we're all traveling in time, aren't we? Just very slowly and in one direction. It's really kind of boring. So practice catching tiny men with chopsticks. That'll break you out of your boredom and maybe, just maybe, you'll be lucky enough to catch someone who can take you back in time. It's not likely, but stranger things have happened, right? Wrap this cloth around your torso just because it's cool and nostalgic. $12 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 3XL

Genetic Work of Art

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http://preshrunk.org/?p=3219

image_f1354e2f-a3df-4640-ade3-89453cb4ede5_1024x1024

image_f1354e2f-a3df-4640-ade3-89453cb4ede5_1024x1024 If you haven't seen Alien: Covenant and you want to avoid spoilers, turn back now. The Davidic Covenant: the Messiah will come from the lineage of David. And so, the Xenomorphs were born. And the Messiah destroyed the galaxy. Until the Predators came. I dunno, it's kinda weird if you really think about it. So try not to really think about it and just enjoy the movie. Because this is a pretty great movie if you don't think about it. $13 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 5XL

Galaxy Father

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http://preshrunk.org/?p=3212

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117818 We're coming up on Father's Day which means it's time to recognize one of the greatest fathers of all time. Or maybe he would be if he knew he had kids for the first 20 years of their lives. This T-shirt imagines what life might have been like for young Luke and Leia if they had had their real father in their lives. Ya know, it's good to think the best of people, but in reality, he would probably have turned them both to the dark side. It's for the best that Luke was raised by his uncle and Leia was raised by a random bureaucratic senator. Wrap this cloth around this torso and celebrate the dads that aren't blood relatives. $12 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 3XL